Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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