Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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