i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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