he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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