there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
