its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
