I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
