I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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