he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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