We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
