very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
