Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
