Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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