We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
