My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
