Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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