I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
