kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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