do herpes really smell.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
