Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
