PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
