does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
