the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Text me some of your sweat
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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