Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
