I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
