What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
