Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
