i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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