First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
