He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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