Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
