i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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