Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Don't make out with my wife yet
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
