I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
