dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
