physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
