I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I skipped work to stalk him.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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