oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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