accomplished twins. life is a go
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
