Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
