I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
