apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
