I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
