Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
