Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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