she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
