Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
