I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
