Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
