It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
