so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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