whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
