Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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