Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
This is my gift to your gina
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
