I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
