So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The adults are the big ones right?
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