We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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