I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
