Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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