You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
