I think I died a long time ago.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I need moral support for this bender
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
