You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
