he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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